the note i wanted to write
slipped my mind
and got lost
in the night

i tried and tried
sat down and cried
while my note
made fun of me

i looked high and low
for that little note’s horn
she was too fast for me
echoing into my mind
as i sat and cried

i tried and tried
sat down and cried
until my note
came back to me

together we sing
about sun and rain
love and tears
laughter and jeers

i tried and tried
sat down and cried
as my note
made fun of me

Many times I take what I feel are logic and reason to come to some kind of direction in life.  When logic and reason doesn’t come up with any answers that make sense to my thinking process, I attribute the nonsensical part of my thought process to what many refer to as God.  In other words, if I am here and don’t understand why I am, it is because God intended it.

After the above process, I sometimes have doubts.

If I don’t have total control over my life, then am I responsible?

If I do have total control over my life, why doesn’t it work out the way I plan?

Does this mean I am deficient, did not achieve “enlightenment”, am not “saved”?

There are people who believe in omens, signs, spirits and souls.  There are believers in the devil and evil as well as good and angels.

When we go about our day’s activities such as work, it is laid out for us what to do.  For an example, an engineer is given the task of designing something.  He or she works on completing the design, focusing on the project at hand.  He or she does not pray for God to do the work.  He or she does it and it is completed, whether it is quality work or not is dependent  on the engineer and those who assessed the qualifications of said engineer.

The engineer also lives aside from designing things.

What is the point of this post?

I suppose I am making an argument for and against what we are told faith is about and maybe what it really is, if it exists.

In the end, one has to ask, “so?”.

According to Wikipedia the Nimitz Class carrier sown above cost $4.5 billion to build.  Not many countries can afford nuclear powered aircraft carriers as the construction, operation costs and maintenance are expensive.

JP Morgan has taken an estimated $3 billion dollar loss which may increase to $5 billion when the final results are tallied and they do not seem to be too concerned as they make so much money.  The anticipated loss is more than it cost to build the carrier.

According to Forbes the world’s three wealthiest men are collectively worth about $174 billion.  That would be 38 carriers between the three of them or over 12 carriers each.

Assuming an average middle class individual makes about $50,000 per year (just guessing), it would take a person 90,000 years to be able to build one aircraft carrier or the total wages of 90,000 people for one year.

The three wealthiest men in the world are basically worth the effort of 3,480,000 workers earning $50,000 each for one year.

I have nothing against an entrepreneur becoming wealthy.  Wealth has its own problems.

I just have trouble reconciling the fact a publicly traded corporation can lose the equivalent of one aircraft carrier and not be too concerned.  Where is the money coming from?

We’re so self-important. Everybody’s gonna save something now. Save the trees. Save the bees. Save the whales. Save those snails. And the greatest arrogance of all, save the planet. What? Are these fucking people kidding me? Save the planet? We don’t even know how to take care of ourselves yet. We haven’t learned how to care for one another and we’re gonna save the fucking planet?

There is nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine. The people are fucked. Difference. The planet is fine….George Carlin

A person doesn’t hear it often these days.  Peace within the family, communities, constituencies and countries.

It seems that words are taken apart, dissected, criticized, manipulated and spun.  The same goes for actions.

I suppose that is the part about human nature that never changes, the inability to accept what is and let our brothers and sisters be.

I read a headline this week about the US envoy claiming invasion plans are ready for an Israeli led strike on Iran.

Why?

Does anyone know why?

This isn’t about nukes, North Korea, China, Russia, Israel and the US all have them and I wouldn’t doubt one or two corporations and organizations do too.

Is control, power and “winning”  worth destroying men, women and children?

In my mind the answer is no.

There are too many out there who believe in “Yes”.

He had no shoes and was walking on fairly new asphalt.  I could tell he was poor as dirt and like many I see of late, probably had no place to sleep.

Today, a once in demand male model and former musician who played in New York was evicted and driven back to California by his landlord.  A sixty year old alcoholic with once famous past friends and days of glory now at a place he never experienced before, destitution.

There are many here who have been deported from the USA for one reason or another.   In Mexico, there are not many opportunities where I live.  Many are experiencing having to survive in a place many of them do not know.

Yet there are people who make billions in the same environment.

Sometimes I wonder if it is fate, intelligence or just plain luck that separates the poor from those who have so much.

“I don’t see where you can impose faith from the outside of a person any better than you can impose democracy from the outside of a nation.”…Jonolan.

“The idea of saving souls, or imposing a democracy on others is a lot like my daughter’s attempts to fix her friend’s problems.  she always failed, which made her mad, but she refused to believe that she could not change anyone, only herself.  I think saving souls, or imposing democracy is a way of trying to justify acts before a greater entity, but secretly justifying the inner monster”…bouzouki.

I read both the above and gave it much thought, wondering why evangelists and others continue to do what they do when they cannot really change a person’s soul.

At first my thinking went the way of greed and power as the motive, and for many it is.

Then there is the other side of the equation…..hope, whether it is justified or not.

For example, does someone who is so caught up in guilt over over what she or he may have done in life feel there may be hope if they learn that God is forgiving?  Not that anyone can say for sure.

I agree with Jonolan and bouzouki that faith cannot be transferred from one person to another by any means.

There are so many humans on this planet that we have altered huge ecosystems, stopped rivers, killed many other species, changed the weather, dumped our trash in such great amounts that we have altered the chemistry in rivers, the air, and the ground.  some of us use our belief in god to justify this behavior, some consider economics to be our god, and we all consider our belief system to be greater than any other belief.  A friend wants the UFO to come and give us an unlimited energy source, and I question, “Why would they do that?”  Another friend is losing his marriage because he will never become the Christian she wants him to be, and she cannot accept he doesn’t believe her brand of “The way it is”.  I know a few people that make fun of the “religious” because they know that “free-market” economics is the truth with its “invisible hand”.  My friends with scientific and math as a belief system are sure that given enough time we will understand the universe.
I happen to find confirmation of my fantasy world with synchronicity, deep breathing, and watching my garden, and at times I read what others have declared and I find an agreement there.  In all of this there is an awe and wonder, my curiosity brings me to seek another answer to why my plants have pests, or how certain rock formations were formed, why my thoughts return to cosmic themes, and how do we find the solutions to all the pressing problems facing this tiny world, full of needy, greedy, animals, some with more brain than heart, some with heart but no wisdom, and most just trying to make it through the day.  Something keeps me on this search to pay attention to what I consider true each day, in spite of all the distractions.  The path is simple and the distractions and desires are strong, urging me away, demanding that I get this or that, indulge, eat too much, or chase after something else, and still I come back to this unknowable mystery.