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Jesus was right about how things would turn out…..

April 17, 2014
By ichabod

I am not going to quote anything for most of you are familiar with some of his predictions.  Jesus did have a pretty good handle on human nature and how things worked when people with the wrong intentions had power over the powerless.

I see and experience it happening around me.   The bullshit constantly being handed to us and the things they demand from us in the form of taxes, information and more is outrageous.  The immorality of Government is documented, yet those of us who call a spade a spade are quickly put down as malcontents, conspiracy theorists and so on.  The head of the CIA went undercover under an assumed name to Ukraine?  The head of the USA version of the Gestapo can’t travel under his own name?

Am I a little angry?  You bet, as most of the people do not want to do anything about it.

I posted the following comment on a blog about an hour ago:

There are so many rules, laws, regulations, snoops, armed enforcement types, reasons to go to jail than any other country and they dare call the place land of the free?

What are Americans free from?  There is persecution, racism, violence and the constant fear of terrorism.  The government taxes everything from soup to nuts and it is almost impossible for a head of a household to support a family anymore, but it has more fucking nuclear powered air craft carriers, subs, and weapons of mass destruction than almost all other countries combined.  What the fuck is wrong with this picture?

You don’t have control of your children as big bro figures he can do a better job raising them.   I know this to be true as I experienced it.   Yet big bro has been caught countless times lying and more, yet the people still ‘trust’ big bro.

America, you are one sick puppy of a country and unless they start repealing 90% of the bullshit out there and allowing people to be free again, it will be akin to living in a place they used to call hell.’

Lessons of the Mountain

April 15, 2014
By ichabod

Today we had to go down the mountain to another town to pick up a prescription drug.  We hopped on a bus.

The driver irritated me a bit as he had a cell phone in one hand and a piece of paper in the other which he clasped the steering wheel with.  Keep in mind the bus is a standard shift with two speed rear axle.  He kept on focusing on the paper and referring to the display on his cell while navigating a twisting two lane blacktop with some pretty scary drops off the edge of the blacktop with no shoulder or guard rail to protect the innocent.  The cell phone is modern, paper is not and the disparity of the two made itself more known to me once we reached the town.

It seems everyone has a business hereabouts.  The shops may be small, but diverse.  Small convenience and grocery stores are also predominant, usually manned by owners and family members.  Credit cards are not accepted in many places.  It is possible to get a pirated movie which is still playing in theaters for a couple of dollars and quite often the quality is excellent.  The new and the old.

We picked up the prescription, the pharmacist scribbled a price on a piece of paper, we went to a cashier who manually totaled the prescription and gave us change, then stamped the paper the pharmacist gave us to let him know it was paid.

A half hour earlier, a doctor used a typewriter to fill out a prescription for us.  I hadn’t heard the keys of a typewriter clanging away in years.  I thought to myself, why don’t they use computers and software?  Being a programmer I started seeing opportunities.

Then I smiled to myself, they may not be wealthy, but look how many people have something to do, if nothing better than waiting for the next customer.  I decided modern efficiency is not always desirable.

Morality Balancing Act, It doesn’t

April 15, 2014
By ichabod
Morality Balancing Act, It doesn’t

Morals, we either have them or not.

One friend told me years ago there are good people who do bad things and bad people who do good things.  In thinking about it, I realize he may not be far off the mark.

I am one of those whose conscience likes to lay on the heavy artillery when I do something that goes against my sense of moral ‘goodness’.  Yes, I justified it at the time in my mind one way or the other, but afterwards guilt had a field day.  There were also times I did something ‘good’.  I do not think I am different than a lot of people in this aspect.

However, at the end of the day, it is not possible to take the stuff that offends conscience and try to balance it with stuff that satisfies conscience.  For me at least, the bad stuff, always out weighs the good stuff so there is no balance.

We learn to continue with life and function within society, but there is always a nagging feeling that there is something out of kilter.

Religions have recognized this in people.  I suppose that is why some Christian religions teach that Christ died for all sins, absolving those of guilt who accept his sacrifice as true.

For me that is an easy way out.  Usually time coupled with no longer offending my sense of morality works for me.  Sometimes it is easier said than done, but is possible.

Human behavior is a complex business at best, if genetics do not affect our thoughts or actions, our environment, physical imbalances or experiences affect us.  In the case of physical imbalances, they can oft be treat3d with drugs.  Experiences and environment can be dealt with.  I am not sure that genetic causes are as easily dealt with, but at least behavior can be understood and that is probably how the term SOB was  founded.

And last, but not least, what about spiritual causes of behavior, such as portrayed in the movie Exorcist.  Is it possible or probable?  Does Evil exist in and of itself?




Was Living Worth the Experience?

April 13, 2014
By ichabod
Was Living Worth the Experience?

I went to sleep two and one half hours ago, and woke up with this thought.  The answer I had in my mind was sobering.

Well over six decades ago when my mother and father joined together to create me, they never thought what I would answer if I had a choice to join the mortals on planet earth for a lifetime, whatever that life would be.  I do not know whether they were thinking about having a baby or just having lust control their pleasure receptacles.

After living a life and thinking about the challenges, pleasures, fears, heartaches, creations, destructions, good, bad and plain old ugly of life, would I have conceded to being born now that I lived it?

I don’t want to sound ungrateful and it doesn’t mean there aren’t people, values and things I do not love or cherish, I wonder what the point of all of it is?

I mean to go through all of this, just to die, or regurgitate in another life, or go to a heaven or hell for the privilege of being here, memories lost, thoughts gone?

Currently, with seven billion of us and counting, billions who have lived and who knows how many coming. did I make a difference?

I don’t think so.

My children could have been created by someone else as easily as myself, I wasn’t really needed.

I don’t know whether I existed in any form before I was born here or will exist afterwards.

Is life supposed to be a gift or punishment with various degrees of each depending on who you happen to be?

If they would have asked me, knowing what I know now, I probably would have said no thanks, give it to someone else.



A Walk In the Dark

April 12, 2014
By bouzouki

Last night the sounds of vehicles, animals, humans, and barking dogs sent me outside.  I could see headlights grow dim with dust rising and silhouettes of horses moving through the dust.  More car light were added and a mixture of Spanish and English  shouts were shattered by bleeps of a siren being turned on and off.  As more cars can along the road, a patrol car came toward me and parked and flashing police lights added more to the dim, strange scene.

I walked to the back of my house and watched the stars, the planet Mars is easy to see, and clouds reflected the city lights in places as well.

In the morning light, there is no sign of loose horses, nor stars, but one, and that is how most of us like our world, ordered according to what we want to see.  When we start looking with a more critical eye, the order of our world slowly unfolds into complications that must be taken into account for a more complete understanding.

If I use a thought experiment to wrap my mind around the solar system, spinning through space, it makes sense, and it is a long way from anywhere else.  A galaxy or two becomes a pretty picture, but billions of stars explode my puny brain.  That must be what happens when economists take a look at the world outside their statistics, demographics, and politics.  The money-changers in the halls of power are magicians, but the main trick they use is to turn the populations of country after county into paupers, but giant corporations are able to turn a profit, so it all works out.

The war horses stamp nervously in the dark, waiting for the charge to “liberate” resources, changing alliances from decade to decade, longer than the memory of most of humanity in the daylight, but the memory of darkness recalls events historically  distant, slapping up whitewashed posters of religion, political affiliation, ethnicity, and economic class to remind us, when we see the poster in the headlights, that there are plenty of reasons to hate, to grab for all we can, and to believe in a myth of unending progress for humanity.

A hundred years ago, my Grandfather began working his farm and garden.  He fed his family directly from his labor in his fields, raising cattle, sheep, pigs and chickens, growing food in his garden, selling milk, grain, sugar beets, and corn.  He stayed on his farm, but he was aware of the labor unrest in the coal mines nearby.  His father had worked in the gold mining areas nearby , but returned to farming on ground that is now turning to subdivisions, highways, with a smoggy brown cloud that hides the clarity of the mountains with a haze that rivals what counts as wisdom by our present day rulers.

We need every drop of oil, every lump of coal, and every cast-off broken plastic toy to keep all these things in their place.  Ignore biology, unless a new technological marvel can keep the humans alive from six more months, beyond the death date.  Ignore billions of people living on $2 or less a day.  Ignore unless, wasteful war, except for the greater glory.  It is just the dust raised llby horses stamping around in the dark.

I used to be a Millionaire

April 9, 2014
By ichabod
I used to be a Millionaire

My mind wandered as I sat in the back of a taxi, holding a bag with five rabbits and my wife holding a box of chicks.  Damn, I thought, one never knows what life has to present from one day to another.  A few months ago I operated a bar and grill, now I am in a place where we have no hot water, a single hot plate for cooking, have to tie into my neighbor’s wifi for internet.  I get up early to feed the chicks and rabbits and at night, catch them and bring them inside to keep them warm. We walk, take a bus or a taxi whenever we need to venture away from the house.

My mind went back to my early thirties. At that time I added up my assets, subtracted liabilities and discovered I was worth 12 million give or take.  It didn’t last long as it was mostly ‘paper’ wealth, but I wasn’t doing badly at all and far better than most.

Now, I can’t remember how many times I moved in the last ten years and I find myself back in time, living day to day like most of my neighbors, many who are considered ‘poor’ by many suburbanites.

I work hard, but something is different.  My wife and I are pretty happy.  We are starting to see the fruits of our labors and love the natural surroundings we find ourselves in.  Tonight I stuck a pot of water in the fireplace to boil, then added it to a prepackaged cup of dry noodles they call soup.  It satisfied the hunger.

I smile as I write this, my boots are worn and covered with paint.  I probably look as opposite to what I used to appear like in my suits when working for the corporation 35 years ago.

I suppose God put me here as I sure didn’t plan it.  As a matter of fact, I really do not think any of my major life changes were planned, they happened.  I may have been a catalyst, but a catalyst without any real control.

So here we are, tonight, resting.  I hear the two turkeys in the box in the other bedroom trying to escape.  They are young and don’t like being ‘caged’, but they may suffer from hypothermia if I let them stay outside.  We don’t have a heater or furnace, but we do have a fireplace which is used.  Most of the time, if not all the time, I leave my cell phone at home beside my lap top.  Haven’t used it in weeks and suspect there is no time left on it.  It doesn’t bother me.

In the morning with a coffee and cigarette, sitting on the patio, looking into woods or at the fields, thinking of the smile on my wife’s face the previous evening, feeling good after she had painted the exterior of the house,  I think, people do not know what they are missing.


Digging It

April 9, 2014
By bouzouki

I am feeling sore and so I move slow this morning.  The day promises to be warm, and my memories of previous days like this, gives me a slight anticipation of how the day will unfold.  My soreness will be extended by my continued digging of a trench, by shovel and pick, implements of both the farmer and the miner, and the hobby gardner or yardmaster as so many lawns seem to represent small manors of the captains of finance, and there are constant landscape, lawn and garden care vehicles about.  The Lords of the manors go to gyms and spas to get the needed exercise, not ones to wield a pickaxe, chipping a line in the dirt.  I am the family gardener, the handyman, poorly executed, but presently the laborer, digging….

If you can dig the hip scenes of the past, the counterculture of history, spawned by the wits, the wags, and dregs, the wild either die young or get old.  The established whores play golf, or gamble.  The poorer peasants watch tv and pass opinions around, go to church and look for a cheaper mechanic to fix car parts that did not exist when they could fix a car by themselves.  Within the social context, you learn what you can in school, and cement it in place through your adult years, and hunt for a cheap assisted living, to accommodate you during the fall of your life.

In my most recent dig into history, I find that Vikings were savage, much like the modern day warrior.  A hundred years ago, countries were preparing for a big war while peasants everywhere fought the small war to survive through another winter, hunting for a living wage.  In my back yard, I have been sifting through the years of bringing back rock trophies of agate, crystals, sandstones, and pretty things that caught my eye and tossed aside behind the old fence of my backyard.  That fence is gone, the ground is cleared of the larger rocks, leaving the smaller pieces to come out of the earth, as a surprise.  I sprinkle these colored rocks in my flower gardens, to get buried again.  that is what I intend for the trench as well, to get buried again.  There will be an artifact of wire, lighting the sheds, powering a saw, hidden from view.

I found a piece of iron pyrite in quartz, carried from someplace up in the mountains, maybe around a mine tailings.  I am reminded that all our artifacts have come from natural sources before being shaped into what we now see.  We live in a manufactured environment, the fruits of the miners, loggers, and farmers, and our food comes in a box, or a sack, can or bottle.  Machines do much of the dirty work and humans need help to exercise, hire someone to mow the lawn, and go out to eat, nowhere near where the food comes from.  We have time to ponder the millions of ways to discover meaning in our lives.  Usually that takes a little digging.

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